FINAL BLOG

To All My Colleagues, 
 
This has been an amazing journey getting to know each of my colleagues during each course since the beginning of entering our Master classes. We are now moving on towards our specialization courses or that of something other. I wanted to send warm wishes and my appreciation for each of you as you all have shared a special part of who you are. Thank you so much for allowing me to learn from you as you opened up your heart to share your lives, your passions and your experiences. This has been an incredible journey and well worth the sacrifice. We are now more confident, more determined, and even more informed to make a difference in the lives of the children and families we serve!  If you should desire to keep in touch, I can be reached at the following email address: barbararob45@gmail.com.

 

 

 

Team Building and Adjourning   

During this week’s assignment, we had the opportunity to learn much about the five stages of developing teams. The five stages presented are all considered critical progressions that help teams become successful. The stages consist of forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning. My involvement as a member of a group has been in both high-performing and low performing groups each resulting in different experiences and outcomes. I have found that the high-performing group that I have been involved has been the most difficult to leave because of the impactful results to include both emotionally and productively. There is an interconnectedness that has been established within the group that produces a sense of accomplishment. The connection, trust and camaraderie built and experienced is rewarding. Groups with the clearest vision are most successful because they are all focused on the common goal. Even though challenges will occur, if you remember the “why” and what it will take to see the end results, it is what it is all about at the end of the day. Within my workplace, my staff and I always make the comment of saying, “let’s take one for the team”, meaning we all work together regardless of the circumstance. There is no big “I’s or little “you”.   

Some of the closing rituals that we have put together is that of a celebration in which we have gone out to eat and celebrate the accomplishment and finality of the end result. During this dinner, we get to discuss some of our successes and challenges that were part of the developing process of the task. This is always a good way to end because we let each other know how much we appreciate what each individual has brought to the table and or group during each phase.

In pondering on the question about how I will adjourn from my colleagues during this master’s journey, I hopefully will have the opportunity to share in the ceremonial practice of receiving our degree. I plan to attend the graduation ceremony and walk across the stage to receive my diploma.  As names are being called out, I will remember who was in my class. But, just in case this does not happen in this way, I plan to send words of sentiments to all of my colleagues. Just as we practice at the end of all our classes we have an opportunity to send out “well wishes”. I can also stay in touch with those that desire through email and the Walden community and or telephone contact. This is an important aspect of networking and keeping in touch with colleagues that can help us stay abreast of what’s going on in the early childhood field. The adjourning stage is an essential stage because it actually represents the ending of the task. You get to reminisce over the process. As with anything, there is always an ending. This helps members celebrate one another and appreciate their part in making the task successful. Teams move on to do better and bigger things.

                                     “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning” (Eccl 7:8) 

 

 

New Conflict Resolution

One conflict that I would like to share is a recent issue at work with my boss. He has been my new boss for almost a little over a year and we are all getting to learn of  his  management  and communicative style. Our organization had received new guidance concerning our background check processing which is a critical piece in bringing new people on board. Unfortunately my new boss had been in the habit of keeping me out of the loop as it concerned my FCC program. This practice went on for quite some time and I became very frustrated with him as I wanted to know how to effectively communicate with him my thoughts and feelings. So, the opportunity presented itself so that I could talk to address the issue. He was not on the receive end as when I presented the issue he was preoccupied and really wasn’t listening but telling me what I wanted to hear. When I left the meeting I felt that this was an "unproductive conflict" that was not resolved (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven (2015, p.214).  

The same practice was continuing and this time I had a major change with one of my trainers in my program. Due to the background check restraints, my numbers of FCC providers decreased therefore resulting in a decline in my support of a trainer. The decision was made by him (my boss) and our lead trainer to pull my training support. Rather than call me and have me come to his office and have a face to face conversation about his decision he sends me an email telling me that he was removing her altogether. To make a long story short, I found this to be unprofessional and disrespectful towards me. Later that morning, we had staff meeting and afterwards I was given the opportunity to talk to him again. I asked if I could have 2 minutes of his time, he agreed and I explained to him how I felt. It was not that I had my trainer taken away but it was because of his delivery of the news. I explained that I thought this was not right. This time I was upset but I had peace about the situation. This time, he intently listened, and I felt as if I had his undivided attention. I expressed that since he’s been my new boss that he has been so far removed from my FCC program and that I felt like he wasn’t interested. This time he listened, looked me in the eye and had apologized numerous times for being disinterested. His reasoning was that I had a program that he didn’t have to worry about or had major issues so he felt like he didn’t have to micromanage or be involved. I said this to say that this experience was frustrating and an eye-opener for me. I had to address the issue but had to go about it in a peaceable way and not be so upset or mad because he didn’t share the news of my program in the way in which I would have handled it.  Because I took some time to pray about the situation and waited to address it, he was on the receive end when he was confronted. As a result, I do receive emails and information from him more than I have ever before. 

Another strategy that I have learned is that you must go in peace and not be confrontational and judgmental. I’ve learned that healthy conflict is necessary and that it can provide positive feedback but also productive conflict. This situation has really taught me to always be mindful of how I am to not assume ideas about others and to communicate to them in a non-hostile approach. 

References 

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New

            York: Bedford/St. Martin's. Chapter 8, "Managing Conflict in Relationships"

 

 



 

Communication Styles Profiles 

 

This week's assignment was interesting to find out about how I communicate and how others view my communication skills. I have found that the communication skills among the three of us were pretty much in the same range. The one thing that I found that was surprising was that the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale revealed that my score was "moderate". My assessment and the assessment from my husband and colleague were the same. I totally agree with this outcome. The outcome states, "You maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others' viewpoint, and the ability to argue fairly by attracting the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position".  Over the years I have had to learn how to effectively relate, understand, and communicate with people even when I didn't want to see their views as important as my own. 

 

The "Listening Styles Profile" assessment provided a score but did not provide a measurement as to where my scoring might fit in. But, I can say that my assessment scores will fall either into the People-Oriented, and or Action-Oriented listening style. I believe I have a little bit of both. Since there was no way of seeing where I might fall into its hard to pinpoint. One insight I have gleaned over the years is that I am concerned with how people feel and I make it a point to not disregard their feelings and opinions. However, I have also learned that I have to also keep it moving and communicate and expect clear and to-the-point communication. As a director of a program, I have to have a balance and not be so consumed with people pleasing that may hinder direction. 

 

Two important factors about communication that I have obtained is in 'listening",  "communicating information" and "showing interest". My number one priority in communicating in both my professional and personal life is to listen to what others have to say. It is really important that you give your listening ear when someone is trying to convey information. Also, it is really important to me that I keep people fully informed of any information that pertains to them. Keeping people in the loop and aware is so important as this helps to build relationships and establishes trust. This is a practice that I do within the work place. I know firsthand that there is nothing worst than not communicating and keeping people out of the loop. This causes friction and a break down in communication in the workplace and in personal affairs.  

 

References:

 

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's. Chapter 2, "Perceiving the Self and Others" (pp. 45-62, beginning with "Cognitions About Ourselves") 

 

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. Communication Anxiety Inventory”Verbal Aggressiveness Scale.

 

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

"Listening Styles Profile-16"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CULTURAL DIVERSITY & COMMUNICATION

As we have learned, communication is a big deal and this is what we do on an everyday basis to interconnect with others. Our world is made up of many different individuals with many different cultures that affect the way in which we can relate. Within my sphere of influence, I communicate with individuals that are different from me. Most people have a tendency to communicate with others on how intimate they are with a person. I interact with my family differently from my colleagues, coworkers, parents and children. In the past, I have found myself communicating differently with those that may have had a different culture and or background from mine. But that was because I had little interaction with them and did not know how to effectively communicate. For instance, I have a certain place where I go to have my nails done. Most of the individuals have a different ethnicity and some are unable to fully speak our language.  Most of them can speak it but just find it hard to sometimes convey what needs to be said in the English language. So, most often, what I find myself doing is when having to ask a question, I find myself speaking really slow so that they can understand me. However, if there is something that I said that they are unable to understand, I usually ask one of the other individuals that can speak the language. This is just one example that I can use but for the most part I try to treat everyone the same.

Three strategies that I can use to help me communicate more effectively is that first, I can maybe take the time to find out some of the basic words in the culture that can help me communicate and speak some of their language. When I lived in Germany and did not speak the language, I purchased a book and learned some basic key words such as hello and thank you and good morning and etc. This helped me until I became comfortable with interacting and speaking some of the words to get by.  

The second strategy that I can use is to befriend or spend time with an individual of that culture. I have also done this as this helped me to better understand their culture and have the opportunity to ask questions about the things that I wanted to learn about. Sometimes this is a better approach than assuming some things that I might see or have questions about as well.

The third strategy is that I can take the time to not carefully listen to others. I have developed the skill to become a good listener. I enjoy this but I believe this is important because everyone wants to be listened too. When you learn to listen you can learn about a person in the way in which they talk and in things that they say or not say is important.

 

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

For this week’s assignment, we were asked to review a television show that we normally do not watch. I just so happened to choose a show titled, “Dr. Ken”. I have never heard of, nor have seen the show before but was flipping through the channel listing to find a show to record. First, I must say that having to intentionally watch a show with the volume muted was quite interesting. From what I could observe, the show is centered on a doctor who is of Asian descent and his family which consists of a wife and two children. The show also involves co-workers and or his colleague of doctors in a hospital setting. When the show first came on I noticed that Dr. Ken was sitting at the kitchen table eating and having a verbal conversation with a woman who may be his wife. As he is eating, she is talking and going through pieces of mail. She opens one piece, reads it and then looks at him and asks a question with a serious look on her face.  As she  is speaking, he never looks up but he laughs and makes a comment. She still has the look of seriousness on her face and begins to continue to glare at him.  The scene then switches to a hospital setting where Dr. Ken is communicating with several people in the area. He walks over to one doctor and asks a question, she replies with a nod and he appears to be laughing and making comments. One moment he begins to dance as I can tell that the show has lots of humor in it. The next scene is shown as Dr. Ken is having a physical done by one of his colleagues. As the scene continues, all throughout the episode there is a lot of non-verbal facial expressions, such as head nodding, arm and hand gestures, looks of frustration, disgust, happiness and lots of eye contact all used as ways to communicate.  Body language was also viewed throughout the show. It also appeared that Dr. Ken did a lot of dance moves to bring about a funny and playful interaction.

After viewing the show without the voice, I then watched the show with the volume. Some of my observations and assumptions appeared correct. It appears Dr. Ken’s wife was looking for insurance and asked him when was the last time he had a physical. It was determined that he had not so he had to ask one of his colleagues to conduct one so that they could get approved. Throughout the screening which consisited of a many different checks, it was determined that he had good health but that he was stressed. He figured that his wife was his “stressor” and he told her so. She took offense and became offended because she said she wasn’t the case of his stress. Come to find out that it was the children that were the stressors because of the issues they had going on. His wife helped him to figure this out but leading up to the end of the show, their communication of verbal and non-verbals were expressive.  At the end which was nice both verbal language and non verbals were used. They made up by talking and listening to each other and then making up with a kiss.

Conducting this exercise was a learning experience as it takes much attention to detail to really look at the ways in which communication is conveyed. Everyday individuals learn to communicate whether by listening, hearing, speaking, kinetics, gestures or use of nonverbal means of communication to get messages out so that they are understood. 

 

COMPETENT COMMUNICATION

     This week’s assignment required that we identify someone that we know of that demonstrates competent communication skills. In thinking about who I would identify, I came up with my good friend Yolanda. She has been endowed with this gift.  Yes, I say gift. I always thought that certain people just have that knack for being a competent communicator and especially one that is always in front of crowds and audiences.  Yolanda is a retired Lt. Colonel from the U.S.  Army and has been trained and groomed in speaking in front of crowds both large and small. Not only was she great in the military, she works as financial advisor and is now holding Leadership Conferences in woman’s ministry.   Yolanda has the ability to take a subject and break it down or explain it in such a way that it becomes as simple as can be. She brings clarity and acceptance. When she speaks, she demands for the audience’s attention. Although she doesn’t have a loud voice, her voice is mellow and has an even pitch. Her voice isn’t boring but is easy to listen and follow and keeps your focus. What makes her competent and effective is that she is also a great listener. When she’s asked a question, and someone responds, she is able to understand their meaning. Listening well is a skill that takes practice. Sometimes when people speak they oftentimes do not say what they mean. Her ability to read between the lines and convey what one has not said is effective. She also is animated when telling stories that will leave the audience with much laughter. Another aspect is that Yolanda has the ability to speak to any type of cultural context. Whether that audience is corporate, casual, social, military, she can adapt and adjust to that cultural setting. Having the ability to operate in this capacity is what I call effective.  When she begins her trainings, she is also able to take the elephant out of the room and people instantly become relaxed and at ease.

      Watching my friend in action is encouraging and inspiring to me.  Yolanda has the skills that I would like to develop and possess. She has established that confidence to go before audiences and crowds, of various genders, faces, and races and keep them interested.  Developing the practice of keeping audiences engaged is a great communicative practice that I would like to model.