Communication Styles Profiles 

 

This week's assignment was interesting to find out about how I communicate and how others view my communication skills. I have found that the communication skills among the three of us were pretty much in the same range. The one thing that I found that was surprising was that the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale revealed that my score was "moderate". My assessment and the assessment from my husband and colleague were the same. I totally agree with this outcome. The outcome states, "You maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others' viewpoint, and the ability to argue fairly by attracting the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position".  Over the years I have had to learn how to effectively relate, understand, and communicate with people even when I didn't want to see their views as important as my own. 

 

The "Listening Styles Profile" assessment provided a score but did not provide a measurement as to where my scoring might fit in. But, I can say that my assessment scores will fall either into the People-Oriented, and or Action-Oriented listening style. I believe I have a little bit of both. Since there was no way of seeing where I might fall into its hard to pinpoint. One insight I have gleaned over the years is that I am concerned with how people feel and I make it a point to not disregard their feelings and opinions. However, I have also learned that I have to also keep it moving and communicate and expect clear and to-the-point communication. As a director of a program, I have to have a balance and not be so consumed with people pleasing that may hinder direction. 

 

Two important factors about communication that I have obtained is in 'listening",  "communicating information" and "showing interest". My number one priority in communicating in both my professional and personal life is to listen to what others have to say. It is really important that you give your listening ear when someone is trying to convey information. Also, it is really important to me that I keep people fully informed of any information that pertains to them. Keeping people in the loop and aware is so important as this helps to build relationships and establishes trust. This is a practice that I do within the work place. I know firsthand that there is nothing worst than not communicating and keeping people out of the loop. This causes friction and a break down in communication in the workplace and in personal affairs.  

 

References:

 

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's. Chapter 2, "Perceiving the Self and Others" (pp. 45-62, beginning with "Cognitions About Ourselves") 

 

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. Communication Anxiety Inventory”Verbal Aggressiveness Scale.

 

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

"Listening Styles Profile-16"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CULTURAL DIVERSITY & COMMUNICATION

As we have learned, communication is a big deal and this is what we do on an everyday basis to interconnect with others. Our world is made up of many different individuals with many different cultures that affect the way in which we can relate. Within my sphere of influence, I communicate with individuals that are different from me. Most people have a tendency to communicate with others on how intimate they are with a person. I interact with my family differently from my colleagues, coworkers, parents and children. In the past, I have found myself communicating differently with those that may have had a different culture and or background from mine. But that was because I had little interaction with them and did not know how to effectively communicate. For instance, I have a certain place where I go to have my nails done. Most of the individuals have a different ethnicity and some are unable to fully speak our language.  Most of them can speak it but just find it hard to sometimes convey what needs to be said in the English language. So, most often, what I find myself doing is when having to ask a question, I find myself speaking really slow so that they can understand me. However, if there is something that I said that they are unable to understand, I usually ask one of the other individuals that can speak the language. This is just one example that I can use but for the most part I try to treat everyone the same.

Three strategies that I can use to help me communicate more effectively is that first, I can maybe take the time to find out some of the basic words in the culture that can help me communicate and speak some of their language. When I lived in Germany and did not speak the language, I purchased a book and learned some basic key words such as hello and thank you and good morning and etc. This helped me until I became comfortable with interacting and speaking some of the words to get by.  

The second strategy that I can use is to befriend or spend time with an individual of that culture. I have also done this as this helped me to better understand their culture and have the opportunity to ask questions about the things that I wanted to learn about. Sometimes this is a better approach than assuming some things that I might see or have questions about as well.

The third strategy is that I can take the time to not carefully listen to others. I have developed the skill to become a good listener. I enjoy this but I believe this is important because everyone wants to be listened too. When you learn to listen you can learn about a person in the way in which they talk and in things that they say or not say is important.

 

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION

For this week’s assignment, we were asked to review a television show that we normally do not watch. I just so happened to choose a show titled, “Dr. Ken”. I have never heard of, nor have seen the show before but was flipping through the channel listing to find a show to record. First, I must say that having to intentionally watch a show with the volume muted was quite interesting. From what I could observe, the show is centered on a doctor who is of Asian descent and his family which consists of a wife and two children. The show also involves co-workers and or his colleague of doctors in a hospital setting. When the show first came on I noticed that Dr. Ken was sitting at the kitchen table eating and having a verbal conversation with a woman who may be his wife. As he is eating, she is talking and going through pieces of mail. She opens one piece, reads it and then looks at him and asks a question with a serious look on her face.  As she  is speaking, he never looks up but he laughs and makes a comment. She still has the look of seriousness on her face and begins to continue to glare at him.  The scene then switches to a hospital setting where Dr. Ken is communicating with several people in the area. He walks over to one doctor and asks a question, she replies with a nod and he appears to be laughing and making comments. One moment he begins to dance as I can tell that the show has lots of humor in it. The next scene is shown as Dr. Ken is having a physical done by one of his colleagues. As the scene continues, all throughout the episode there is a lot of non-verbal facial expressions, such as head nodding, arm and hand gestures, looks of frustration, disgust, happiness and lots of eye contact all used as ways to communicate.  Body language was also viewed throughout the show. It also appeared that Dr. Ken did a lot of dance moves to bring about a funny and playful interaction.

After viewing the show without the voice, I then watched the show with the volume. Some of my observations and assumptions appeared correct. It appears Dr. Ken’s wife was looking for insurance and asked him when was the last time he had a physical. It was determined that he had not so he had to ask one of his colleagues to conduct one so that they could get approved. Throughout the screening which consisited of a many different checks, it was determined that he had good health but that he was stressed. He figured that his wife was his “stressor” and he told her so. She took offense and became offended because she said she wasn’t the case of his stress. Come to find out that it was the children that were the stressors because of the issues they had going on. His wife helped him to figure this out but leading up to the end of the show, their communication of verbal and non-verbals were expressive.  At the end which was nice both verbal language and non verbals were used. They made up by talking and listening to each other and then making up with a kiss.

Conducting this exercise was a learning experience as it takes much attention to detail to really look at the ways in which communication is conveyed. Everyday individuals learn to communicate whether by listening, hearing, speaking, kinetics, gestures or use of nonverbal means of communication to get messages out so that they are understood. 

 

COMPETENT COMMUNICATION

     This week’s assignment required that we identify someone that we know of that demonstrates competent communication skills. In thinking about who I would identify, I came up with my good friend Yolanda. She has been endowed with this gift.  Yes, I say gift. I always thought that certain people just have that knack for being a competent communicator and especially one that is always in front of crowds and audiences.  Yolanda is a retired Lt. Colonel from the U.S.  Army and has been trained and groomed in speaking in front of crowds both large and small. Not only was she great in the military, she works as financial advisor and is now holding Leadership Conferences in woman’s ministry.   Yolanda has the ability to take a subject and break it down or explain it in such a way that it becomes as simple as can be. She brings clarity and acceptance. When she speaks, she demands for the audience’s attention. Although she doesn’t have a loud voice, her voice is mellow and has an even pitch. Her voice isn’t boring but is easy to listen and follow and keeps your focus. What makes her competent and effective is that she is also a great listener. When she’s asked a question, and someone responds, she is able to understand their meaning. Listening well is a skill that takes practice. Sometimes when people speak they oftentimes do not say what they mean. Her ability to read between the lines and convey what one has not said is effective. She also is animated when telling stories that will leave the audience with much laughter. Another aspect is that Yolanda has the ability to speak to any type of cultural context. Whether that audience is corporate, casual, social, military, she can adapt and adjust to that cultural setting. Having the ability to operate in this capacity is what I call effective.  When she begins her trainings, she is also able to take the elephant out of the room and people instantly become relaxed and at ease.

      Watching my friend in action is encouraging and inspiring to me.  Yolanda has the skills that I would like to develop and possess. She has established that confidence to go before audiences and crowds, of various genders, faces, and races and keep them interested.  Developing the practice of keeping audiences engaged is a great communicative practice that I would like to model.  

 

 

PROFESSIONAL HOPES AND GOALS

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that every early childhood professional will become mentally and educationally prepared to embrace every child and every family that is different. As we learn to become more accepting, we intentionally begin to break every hidden barrier that is existent within the culture.

A goal that I would like to set for the early childhood field with regards to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to create an atmosphere that is non-judgmental within every early childhood sphere of influence that would promote acceptance, promote tolerance and promote awareness of the many social identities that are existent and viewed as controversial. By learning to embrace and interact with many of the cultural differences this would promote personal growth and development and break every hidden barrier that is prevalent in the field.  

Finally, I would like to express my gratitude to all of my colleagues and our professor for making this a memorable learning experience during these past eight weeks. I appreciate your transparency, your insight, and your willingness to share your personal experiences with us throughout the course to help bring clarity and understanding of those difficult and challenging issues we had to discuss.

 

 

Welcoming Families From Around the World 

 My early childhood setting takes place within a child care center. I have received word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country I know nothing about will join my group soon. In preparation, I prepare myself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, I have enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated I need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.

The name of the country of origin I chose is “Aruba”.  This is a country that I know little about except that many Americans tour this country and I have heard that the weather is beautiful. I wanted to know more about the culture, people and country to see what it has to offer.

Some of the ways in which I can prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards the family is that I would begin to read about the culture and language via various resources.  I would look to find what significance the country and culture has.  In particular, the country is both multi-lingual and multi-cultural. There are 4 different languages spoken to include, Dutch, Spanish, Papiamento, and English.  Familiarizing myself with some of the basic terminology in these languages (English, Dutch and Spanish) would be a start and would help me to understand the family dynamics. Another approach would be to learn of some of the cultural meanings. I would find and gather items that represent the country and place them in the day care room and ensure that the family/child has some things that they can identify with that is familiar to them. I would also see if I could find someone that is familiar with the culture/language and probe and ask questions that would help me to communicate and understand the family better.  I would also want to find out more about the family and would have them fill out a questionnaire prior to me meeting with them. This would help me to at least see ahead of time some of the family’s interests and needs which would help with the interview and personal contact.  

 All of these practices will allow me to become better prepared, acquainted and possibly feel more at ease if I prepared ahead of time and take the time to find out about the family. Learning about their likes, dislikes, customs, and/or things that we may do or not do that may be offensive is well worth exploring prior to my visit with the family. 

 

 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

One experience that I would like to personally share is many years ago when my oldest daughter was younger we took a family vacation to Disney World. At the time, my daughter was probably about three or four years of age and was in a stroller.  As you can imagine the theme park can be overcrowded with droves and droves of people.  During this time the parade was just getting started and my daughter could not see all of the Disney characters because she was in the stroller. As people normally do, we pushed our way into the crowd so that we could get a good view.  As all the people were moving forward there was this white man who was beside me who blurted out “stay in the back where you belong you black bi---” and pushed me forward into the crowd.  Well needless to say, my husband who was behind me did not take to kindly to this as he reacted and pushed the man back and told him not to put his hands on his wife. The man then glared at my husband and continued to push his way to the other side into the crowd. 

This particular incident diminished equity when the man called me out of my name. His deliberate racial behavior, attitude and statement removed all opportunities to promote peace. This deliberate hostile act is known as a microassault which was discussed during Dr. Sue’s media segment on micro-aggressions (Laureate Education, 2011).

The emotional feelings that I experienced on that day was that of anger, fear and sadness. I became angry because this man disrespected me and thought that it was okay to call me out of my name and then push me. I was also angry because he thought that he was in some way superior to me and that hatred was in his heart. My heart became fearful because my husband became enraged and pushed him back in order to protect me.  I was afraid that this was going to lead into a bad situation. So I calmed my husband down and talked him into not taking this incident any further. It took me a while to let that incident go but I was saddened by the fact that racism still existed and that this man had this amount of hatred and anger in his heart.   

In this situation in order to bring about equity the man that pushed me would have had to have a softened heart. His behavior and superiority mentality of how he viewed me as a black woman would have had to change. However, I chose to not stay angry and not to hold a grudge against this man and others that are ignorant just as he was. I chose not to develop and or hold onto racial attitudes and behaviors because I had a bad experience and a victim of someone else's prejudices. I believe that this situation helped me to grow and become more tolerant of other people’s ignorance.